Bleach : Operation-We're screwed
by thebrokendevil
Summary: Every Bleach character is captured by two little girls and are held captive under their middle school. Both are extremely powerful soul reapers and can bring back the dead using the power of fan fiction. Under these two, the characters are forced to participate in physical and mental challenges as well as weird interviews and questionnaires. Disclaimer:I dont own Bleach(Hiatus now)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:I DON'T OWN BLEACH! THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO SAY THAT 1 BILLION TIMES IS BOGUS!**

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Ichigo Kurosaki was walking home from school. He kept his sucky spirit energy sensors on for any hollows or opening Senkaimon. Ever since he got his spirit energy back, the Soul Society was dumping most of the work on him again, making his life ten times more of a pain. Even after the Quincy war, they still won't let off the workload. Even Urahara and his dad refused to help with it.

He had just reached his house when he felt something off. He couldn't feel the spiritual presence of any of his family members. Usually, he could sense his father's captain level spirit energy and his sisters' growing spirit energy, but there wasn't a trace. He opened the door and shouted,"Hey! Anybody home?!"

He looked around for a while and found nothing. He began to get worried. If anything happened to his family, he would never be able to live with himself. He pulled out his Soul Reaper Combat Pass and struck himself in the chest, leaving his body on the couch as he sprinted for the door in Soul Reaper form. Just as he was about to leave, a shadow casted over him, and he felt himself get thrown into a bag carried off. He hit a hard surface that soon started moving. He figured he was inside a car and reached for his sword so he could escape the bag, but he couldn't find it.

_"They took Zangetsu."_ He thought. Right as he was contemplating his next move, he started slipping out of consciousness. Whatever the bag was made out of was draining his energy, and eventually, he fell asleep.

* * *

When he awoke, he was laying down in a bed. He sat up and looked around. He was in a small room that only had a bed, a mirror, and a door. The walls were made of concrete and the door looked like iron. He swung his legs over the side and walked over to the door. He pushed the door open just enough so he could see what was going on. What he did see was extremely shocking to him.

Outside the small room was Rukia, Renji, and many other Soul Reapers chatting about like everything was normal. He stepped out and walked over to his friends.

"Hey Rukia, Renji," he started,"What are we all doing here?" Renji looked up from his conversation and said,"Oh hey, Ichigo. None of us really know. We heard some voice on a speaker say to keep put until further notice, and Head Captain Yamamoto told us to do that so we could see what the hell all of this is."

"Ok" Ichigo said. Instantly afterward, Ichigo's eyes widened in confusion,"Hey wait a sec. Isn't the Old Man dead?"

Renji sighed and responded,"Well, none of us know how, but whoever kidnapped us is bringing back the fallen. Even the bounts and arrancars are here, but they're not attacking."

Ichigo thought it over with astonishment. Whoever this person was, they were powerful to be able to bring the dead back to life, and even more powerful to make the once evil submit to just being cooped up in this concrete confinement. It was actually a rather large space. There were who knows how many rooms that looked exactly like his and a double door on one of the walls. Right then, Ichigo remembered something.

"My family!" he said frantically, grabbing the front of Renji's shihakusho,"Is my family here? Where are they?" Renji brushed off Ichigo's hands and said,"Hey calm down. They're all fine in their own rooms. And by the way, your dad seems to know a lot about soul reapers."

"Oh yea, don't worry about him,"Ichigo said, relieved that his family was safe. Renji nodded and Ichigo looked around the room more. The ceiling was high and there were several levels, each with uncountable rooms. The walls were made of normal concrete, so they could use kido if they wanted to, but judging how no one was trying, Ichigo assumed someone tried and barely dented the wall. He kept looking around and saw arrancars casually walking past soul reapers, and visoreds were walking by quincies. Even Byakuya was walking by everyone he killed: Tsukishima, Zommari, etc, without even grasping his sword's hilt.

A sound echoed through the room and they all looked to the double doors that were now opened. In entered a short girl with black hair that went to her knees that was kept in a high ponytail. Her eyes were purple, tiger ears poked from her hair, and a tiger tail came out of her waist. A small sheathed dagger was tucked into her ponytail and her shihakusho was a mini skirt version with short sleeves. She had a serious look that even beat Ulquiorra's glare of nothingness. She took a few steps in and looked around. She dropped the serious face and grew a tired expression.

"It's about time the rest of you woke up," she said,"Kidnapping you was all a pain, waiting for you to wake up was just boring." She turned around and started to walk out, but Ichigo ran up to her and grabbed her arm.

"Hold on,"he shouted,"Who are you and why the hell are you capturing and resurrecting all these people?" The girl stuck her pinky into her ear and whined,"Geez, why do ya have to shout?" She put her hand down and answered,"I can't say anything until my pet tells me I can."

"Your…pet?" Ichigo asked, puzzled. The girl pulled her arm back and nodded,"Even cats have pets you know."

Right then, a ding sounded from her pocket. She pulled out her phone and read the message. She sighed and typed while mumbling,_"I do not understand the names you send me, moron."_ Ichigo looked even more puzzled, but then the girl received another message, looked around, and started to point to certain people, waving them over. She pointed to Rukia, Renji, Byakuya, Orihime, Uryu, Urahara, Isshin, and Yoruichi. Once the crowd assembled, the girl announced.

"You are the people my pet asked me to gather. I'll show you what you're here for, and then hopefully you'll spread the word before the fun begins." she said the last part deviously, and it made Ichigo's skin crawl.

* * *

She led them out of the room and into another one that looked like a stage with hundreds of seats facing it. The ceiling looked like a broken TV screen filled with static. While they looked around, Ichigo saw one of the weirdest things he ever saw. A slightly smaller girl with brown hair in a low ponytail, black wolf ears, a black tail, a sleeveless arrancar shihakusho, and a sword slung over shoulder by a bloody bandage, but the weird part was she was chained to a pole in the center of the stage by a studded collar. The first girl turned around and talked again.

"Introduction time! My name is HannaMiou, but call me Miou or I will fuck you all up, and that over there is my werewolf pet, TheBrokenDevil, but since that is way too long, you can call her, Broken, Devil, or her OC name, Kiba." Devil, who was sitting down obediently, waved excitedly at the group. Her eyes scanned over the group, and her excited expression faded into sadness, and then anger.

"HEY MIOU!" she barked,"I thought I included another person in my list!" Miou looked at her phone and said,"No, you said 'bring the lame guy, Pineapple, Rukia, Bianca, Oriwatsits, Quincy, Hat n' Clogs, The lamo's dad, and Luigi.' By the way, thanks for putting it in simple terms AFTER I remind you that I can't remember every character's name!"

After thinking over the names, Ichigo looked offended,_"They think I'm lame?"_ he thought.

"Look closer, cat hoarder!" Devil snapped,"It says Shorty after Bianca!" Ichigo and Renji chuckled slightly, knowing who shorty is, and figuring out who Bianca is. However, they received a death glare from that exact person. Miou didn't even look at her phone and said,"I don't care. He's annoying as hell and his voice is weird."

Devil growled more and tried to sprint on all fours at her cat owner, fangs bared and eyes red, but was held up by her collar. Miou smirked and said,"Well, look who's being a bad doggie. I know what will make that go away." She dialed a number and waited for the other person to pick up.

"Hey, Devil's misbehaving…yea we're in the basement…yea could do the thing…thanks." She hung up and put the phone back in her pocket. Ignoring her confused guests, she waited patiently for whoever she called. After a minute of silence, an elevator door opened in the back wall and out came a tallish girl with rainbow-dyed black hair and a light blue jacket. She looked at the snarling werewolf, nodded to Miou, and quickly walked over to Devil. She planted her feet firmly in the ground, pointed at the post holding the chain, and yelled,"FACE THE POLE!"

Devil stopped growling and whined. She crouched down and looked as though she was begging not to 'face the pole'. The girl crossed her arms and said demandingly, her voice raising in pitch,"POLE!" Devil still tried refusing with a lot of whimpering, and the girl shouted one last time,"FACE THE POLE OR NO BLEACH!" Devil instantly turned to the pole.

"Thanks Delaney,"Miou said,"I'll tell you the next time she loses it." Delaney walked over and said,"Ok. By the way, you're missing yet another Poe story in English." Miou just waved her hand back and forth and said,"Trust me, interviewing dead people with Devil as my pet is way better."

"Yea, I would think so." Delaney said. Devil tried peeking over her shoulder a little, but without turning around, Delany shouted,"POLE!" making the quivering girl to turn back.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Ichigo shouted, losing his patience,"why are you capturing my friends and family, and why are you bringing the dead back to life?!" Miou folded her tiger ears over her head to block out the noise and said,"I was getting to that, Lamo." Making Ichigo look even more puzzled and offended than before. Delaney left, knowing that her assistance was no longer needed, leaving Miou with very confused Bleach characters and a cowering wolf girl.

"Anyway, what you are here for was an idea of Devil's. We discovered this place under our middle school, as well as an FFR, which stands for Fan Fiction Realizer. That's what allows us to be Soul Reapers, or that other thing that Devil says she is that sounds like it should be a robot in a Sci-Fi movie." Miou explained,"Bottom line, it turned the two of us into our OC's and also allowed us to bring the dead back to life. All Devil has to do is type it and it's true, but she warned me not to let anyone near it. She says they'll do stuff from a different Fanfic that she's written, and all of her fics are dangerous, apparently."

"What's so dangerous about them?" Uryu asked seriously. Miou shouted over her shoulder,"Devil! Give 'em an example!" Devil turned around and shouted to the bleach characters,"Any character the exact height of 4 foot 4 will most likely start dating!"

For a few moments, there was silence, then Urahara broke out into a fit of laughter.

"What the hell, Kisuke!" Ichigo shouted angered that he would laugh at such a time, only getting a harder laugh in a response. After he calmed down, he put his fan in front of his mouth a said,"You'd laugh too if you knew."

Ichigo's eye twitched. They were captured by kids who could control them if they wanted to, and Kisuke was laughing his ass off already. Ichigo turned back to Miou and waited for her to at continue, but Yoruichi asked,"So what is it that you have us here for?"

Miou looked at her fellow cat person and announced,"It's called the 'Combat And Trivial' Bleach Character Interviews! Or C.A.T. for short."

"I hate the name!" Devil shouted, earning an angry shout from Miou,"SHUT UP, YOU SLOBBERING MUTT!" Then she pulled a remote from her pocket and hit a button on it. Out of no where, a huge load of carrots piled on top of Devil. Everyone sweatdropped, and Miou turned back around and kept explaining.

"So, since we discovered this place, we decided to capture you all and force you to go through physical and mental challenges, along with some random questions here and there, and broadcast them on FanFiction Television. Any questions?" Renji asked the most obvious question that no one even bothered asking,"What's fanfiction?"

Miou put her hand to her forehead, mumbled,_'what an idiot'_, and said,"I'm not sure if you knew this, but people around the world have been creating stories based on your personal lives." Of course it struck everyone as a surprise, and they all flipped out. Ichigo, Renji, and Uryu got WTF faces, Rukia nearly passed out, while Orihime did, Kisuke and Isshin started laughing, but then it died down in a nervous awkward silence, Byakuya stayed silent, and Yoruichi turned into a cat and tried to run away, only to be caught and snuggled by Miou.

"W-what do you mean 'stories about our personal lives'?" Ichigo asked, completely dumbfounded at the idea. Mid-snuggle, the cat-faced girl looked up and said,"It's fiction written by fans, what more explanation do you need?"

"Well, I-" Ichigo started, but was interrupted by Miou who sadly dropped Yoruichi,"Just go to to read some examples. I'll have Devil put a computer in each of your rooms, but here's a warning. If you wanna keep your life, don't read Devil's fics."

"Why not?" Rukia asked. Miou stood up and said flatly,"You'll wake up frozen to your bed." After she said that, Urahara once again broke into laughter.

"Will you cut that out!" Ichigo snapped as Miou started ushering them out. They all left and went back into their designated rooms. Ichigo laid in his bed for a minute, thinking about what Miou said. People all over the world knew about the Soul Society and everything that's happened since he arrived, and they were even making up their own stories about it.

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**Woot! First chapter is really just an introduction. Second chapter will be an example of the powers of Devil in her own little world. After that, the games will begin, Here's the name code Lamo-Ichigo, Pineapple-Renji, Rukia-Rukia, Bianca-Byakuya, Oriwatsits-Orihime, Quincy-Uryu, Hat n' Clogs-Urahara, The lamo's dad-Isshin, and Luigi-Yoruichi. Thanks to HannaMiou who doesn't upload fanfic but allowed me to use her OC. See ya next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Note:A lot of this story will be completely random. We will sometimes break into song, or throw a random object at the characters. Sometimes, Matt Smith will come out of no where. Anyway, let's see the second chapter**!

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Ichigo stood up and walked out the door to see that absolutely no one was out in the open. Everyone was in their rooms, reading fanfics about themselves and either laughing or throwing a tantrum. He saw the large doors open up slightly and a white figure run in. He recognised it as Devil from earlier running on all fours. She ran to the other side of the room and opened a large vault-like door. A blue glow was emitted from inside. She turned around and shouted,"HEY EVERYONE! GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE!"

As she requested, everyone came out of their rooms and looked to the giant vault. Once everyone was out, she continued shouting,"I'M REVIVING THE LAST TWO DEAD PEOPLE! IF ANYONE DARES HARM THEM, YOU'LL BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MIOU'S BANKAI AND MY SEGUNDA ETAPA."

While everyone was thinking about who could be so likely to be attacked, Devil put her hands in the blue glow and pulled out another person clad in white. Ichigo couldn't see him that well, so he thought about his appearance,_"Tall, silver hair, looks creepy…fuck me."_

"Ladies and gentlemen," Devil announced,"Welcome back Gin Ichimaru!" The reaction of everyone in the room was awful, save for the few who know he was good the whole time. Most people shouted at him, but a few tried to jump down from their levels to attack Gin. Devil sighed and typed something on her phone. Instantly an invisible force field was set up along the edges of the levels, keeping everyone from jumping over the fences, or keeping them from falling. The people who tried jumping looked at her in bewilderment and anger and she just said flatly,"FFR app. Seriously guys, there's an app for everything."

She turned back to the vault and put her hands back in to pull out the next one. She stopped halfway and turned back around,"Just to be safe, I'll go into Segunda Etapa now. Now if anyone attacks, they'll be the next one I pull out of the FFR." Then she closed her eyes and let out a blast of multicolored spirit energy. It wrapped around her and left her in her Segunda Etapa (too complicated to describe. Just read Lone Wolf). Then she turned around and put her hands back in the FFR and pulled out the one person that almost everyone in the room hated, including Gin. Devil revived Sosuke Aizen.

Of course, the force field broke under the angered reiatsu of many, and since Tite Kubo decided to give the most anger of Aizen to the kids, Toshiro charged, Hyorinmaru raised high. Devil rolled her eyes and threw a fireball sling-arm style at him, sending him to the other side of the room.

Anyone barely holding in anger backed up slightly. Devil heard every murmur running through the crowds. She heard one say,_"Her zanpakuto must be strong."_ and a vein popped out of her forehead.

"WHO THE HELL SAID MY ZANPAKUTO WAS STRONG!" When no one answered she crossed her arms, closed her eyes, and said,"Sure it made the fire ball, but the sling strength was all me. Have you ever heard of goal keeping? That's practically my life outside of here!" Ignoring anyone's reaction she looked at Toshiro, who was using his zanpakuto to help himself up. Then, she looked to Gin, whose hand was on the hilt of Shinsou. One last look at Aizen who was so close to drawing Kyoka Suigetsu, and she sighed. She pulled her phone back out, typed something in, and waited for the effect. Just like that, everyone's zanpakuto's, quincy crosses, bount crests, etc. faded away into thin air. A huge commotion erupted out of the crowd as they tried looking for their weapons. Ichigo shouted,"Where the hell did you put our zanpakutos?!"

Devil smirked deviously and said,"Somewhere that none of you will ever be able to access." Right as she finished, a shriek sounded from outside the room. Everyone looked to the door that slammed open, and at the same time smashed Toshiro against the wall. Miou sprinted over to Devil with the biggest smile ever. Once she got to her, Miou started jumping up and down happily and said,"DEVIL! DEVIL! DEVIL! THERE'S A TARDIS ON THE STAGE!"

Devil nodded and said,"Yea I put it there." Then she whispered something to Miou, whose smile turned as devious as Devil's. She sprinted back out the room and slammed the door shut to reveal an unconscious Toshiro, bruised and bloody, fall flat on his face. Devil mumbled,"There's nothing stopping her when Doctor Who is involved." she then turned her attention back to the confused crowd.

"Ok, so does everyone understand? Don't harm Aizen, because Aizen can't hold a candle to any one of you at the moment." Devil thought that might calm them down, but as said earlier **ALL HATE GOES TO THE KIDS!** Therefore, a hollowfied and clearly pissed Hiyori made an attempt to attack Aizen. Just as her fist was about to hit Aizen, Devil, stepped in front of him and caught her hand, forcing an explosion of spirit energy. When the reiatsu cleared, everyone could clearly see the white mask that now covered Devil's face. A wolf with two upper saber teeth and one lower. The sudden outburst of energy sent Hiyori flying as well. When she hit the wall, Devil took off her mask and looked at the two soul reapers thrown against the wall.

"Oh c'mon!" Devil gestured toward them and shouted to everyone else,"Shouldn't these two go out! I mean it's only common sense!" At the end of her whining, the door slammed open again, and Toshiro got a face full of door again. Miou stormed over to Devil, grabbed her wolf ear in a pinch hold, and started dragging her away,"How many times have I told you! No going hollowfied unless I say it's ok for entertainment! I don't even know who this blonde chick is anyway, which makes it not entertaining!" She shouted the last part straight into Devil's ear. With that, she left and slammed the door shut. Every single person in the room sweat dropped, and then went back on with whatever normal life they could have living in a giant concrete box.

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**I know it's short but it's starting to get interesting. Leave a comment to tell me what you think. Pretty soon, I will be adding another OC(yea it's delaney). Bai guys!**


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